Like I said on Twitter sometimes I think the mother-daughter bond grows when you give each other some space.
Growing up my mother was a workaholic. Seriously, she missed every single school function after 1st grade. She never came to my school plays, she never came to parent-teacher interviews or anything of that sort; including my graduation. (My dad didn't either but he too was a workaholic).
My sister was a huge trouble maker growing up and my parents focused more of their attention on her. I was a good child and didn't need much guidance. I kind of learned from my sisters mistakes...As soon as my sister moved my relationship with BOTH my parents got better. I was able to have sit down talks with my parents about ME and things that concerned me. It wasn't all about my sister anymore.
Then I moved as soon as I graduated high school. The move made us even closer. We talk on the phone every single day, my parents come up to Canada every single winter for 3 months (both my sister and I live in Montreal).
As for how to remain close with your kids...I think you need to draw a fine line between parent and friend. I want my children to be able to come to me and talk openly as a friend but also understand that I am their mother. I think you SHOULD ask them questions about their day but when you see they are hesitant about something then back off. Let them come to you unless you think its a serious issue...then pursue it.
Be more positive, more cheerful, more spontaneous, and more structured. Be a bit of everything. Look, you can't be happy 24/7 or always see the brighter side of things. Some issues are serious and you need to be realistic.
I think you'll do great at having a close relationship with your daughter, its just something that has to be worked on from the BOTH of you. Start now while she's still young and you can build a beautiful relationship. I oftentimes find myself wishing my mom and I were closer when I was younger.
Enough of my novel. Sorry!
Growing up my mother was a workaholic. Seriously, she missed every single school function after 1st grade. She never came to my school plays, she never came to parent-teacher interviews or anything of that sort; including my graduation. (My dad didn't either but he too was a workaholic).
My sister was a huge trouble maker growing up and my parents focused more of their attention on her. I was a good child and didn't need much guidance. I kind of learned from my sisters mistakes...As soon as my sister moved my relationship with BOTH my parents got better. I was able to have sit down talks with my parents about ME and things that concerned me. It wasn't all about my sister anymore.
Then I moved as soon as I graduated high school. The move made us even closer. We talk on the phone every single day, my parents come up to Canada every single winter for 3 months (both my sister and I live in Montreal).
As for how to remain close with your kids...I think you need to draw a fine line between parent and friend. I want my children to be able to come to me and talk openly as a friend but also understand that I am their mother. I think you SHOULD ask them questions about their day but when you see they are hesitant about something then back off. Let them come to you unless you think its a serious issue...then pursue it.
Be more positive, more cheerful, more spontaneous, and more structured. Be a bit of everything. Look, you can't be happy 24/7 or always see the brighter side of things. Some issues are serious and you need to be realistic.
I think you'll do great at having a close relationship with your daughter, its just something that has to be worked on from the BOTH of you. Start now while she's still young and you can build a beautiful relationship. I oftentimes find myself wishing my mom and I were closer when I was younger.
Enough of my novel. Sorry!
